Monday, April 7, 2014
I don't believe New York's response to Hurricane Sandy was adequate because the storm appeared on October 22 and they didn't begin with emergency plans until the 28th, leaving people hopeless. In the chapter Blanking The Beach they mention militarize gentrification which indicates they would take over with no regards for the people who are there. New York city did not do enough to help the people. They were only concern about their own profit and gains. It is important because a lot of people suffer because of their inability to give people the proper assistance they needed. They are throwing people under the bus for their own personal gain. They don't care who is hurt as long as they can profit from it.
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Some heavy ideas here, in a good way. But a reader has a hard time following the transitions from one sentence to another. Show the reader the steps from how you get from one idea to another. Keep these big ideas going for the second essay!
ReplyDeleteYou have some very good ideas in this blog, but i feel these ideas could be expanded more. When you mention " In the chapter Blanking The Beach they mention militarize gentrification which indicates they would take over with no regards for the people who are there". you did not mention the page number, if you plan on revising this i suggest you use quotation sandwich. When you say "New York city did not do enough to help the people" could you say the reason why they didn't?, Maybe mention that New York left many people homeless because they didn't give aid to those who lost everything. Overall i feel that your blog raises some very good points on the topic, but the lack of supporting sentences really hurts it.
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